'"DEAR HATI, BERSABARLAH DENGAN KETENTUAN ALLAH SWT.
SETIAP YANG TERJADI PASTI ADA HIKMAHNYA...."
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A SITUATION
WHERE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH
WHERE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH
AN ARRANGE MARRIAGE... LIKE NEARLY BEEN THERE..
NEARLY JE, BKN BETUL2 TERJADI...
WELL, I DO..
BUT I'LL TAKE ALL THE BLAME
COZ IM THE ONE WHO ASKED MY FAMILY
COZ IM THE ONE WHO ASKED MY FAMILY
TO FIND SOMEONE FOR ME.
BUT THE GOOD THING IS,
MY PARENT, THEY NEVER FORCE ME
TO DO ANYTHING THAT I DONT LIKE.
TAPI BENDA KALO DAH NK JADI, JADI JUGAKKKK
NK STORY LA SKIT PNGALAMAN TU...
WELLLLL.......HERE GOES NOTHING........
SOMEONE CALL MY AUNT..
I HAPPENED TO BE THERE WHEN SHE CALLED HER.
"KAK, ANAK BANG MAT ADA SAPA2 DAK LAGI?
ADA SORANG BUDAK KAT KAMPUNG NI,
MAK DIA MINTAK TOLONG CARIKAN..
BAGUIH BUDAK NI, FAMILI DIA DISEGANI KAT KAMPUNG NI..
LEPASAN UNIVERSITI JGK, TP LA NI KERJA SENDIRI.
KERETA DEPAN RUMAH ADA 2,3 BIJI.
HARTA DEPA, TUJUH KETURUNAN PN X HABEH...
MUKA DIA PUN OK...
SEBELUM DPT KAT ORG LAIN SAYA NAK BAGI
LA DEKAT ADIK BERADIK KITA DULU.."
(THIS "SO CALL" ORG TGH ADALAH SEPUPU MY DAD)
WELL, HERES THE THING THAT I DONT LIKE.
INGAT AKU PANDANG HARTA KA?
INGAT AKU PANDANG KEDUDUKAN KA?
INGT AKU PNDANG RUPA KA????
RUMAH AKU PN ADA 4 BIJIK KETA DEPAN RUMAH,
TAK KECOH PUN.
AGAK MENJADI KEPANTANGAN DALAM DIRI AKU
ORANG BERBANGGA BANGGA DGN KEKAYAAN DIA.
TP NI BUKAN SI LELAKI YANG CKP, TP MCIK AKU.
SO TAK LEH NAK JUDGE HIM AS SOMEONE
YANG SUKA MENUNJUK-NUNJUK.
SO, SINCE IM TURNING 30 THIS YEAR,
STILL SINGLE, NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND BEFORE.
SO AKU MEMBUKA MINDA DAN HATI
UNTUK GO ON DENGAN PLAN DEPA NI.
"MACAM MANA NAK BAGI DEPA JUMPA AA KAK?
BAWAK PI JUMPA DEKAT RUMAH LA NO.
HARI PA DEPA CUTI?"
NI LG SATU, XDAN PA DAH NAK MAI RUMAH.
MAI MENENGOK ORG KATA.
WELL, AKU TADAK LA MODERN GIRL SGT.
TAPI AKU RASA ELOK LA AKU KENAI2 DIA DULU.
JANGAN LA TERUIH BAWAK FAMILI MAI RUMAH.
WADAHEYLLL??
JANTUNG AKU DAH DUP DAP DUP DAP
"KITA TOLONG JA NO KAK NO..
KALO JADI ALHAMDULILLAH LA..
LA NI KITA TUNGGU BERITA GEMBIRA JA LA NOOOO..."
HAH!
LAGI SATU... TAK DAN PA DAH NAK TUNGGU BERITA GEMBIRA..
WATA????
AKU RASA MCM SATU BEBANAN
LIKE, THIS PLAN MUST GO ON!!
I HATE IT~
MY AUNT AFTER LETAK TELEPON..
"KAK, TRY LA DULU, CUTI NI AJAK ABAH P RUMAH
MCIK M (BKN NAMA SEBENAR)..
KAK PI TENGOK DIA MCM MANA.."
AIK! GUA PLAK NAK KENA PI TENGOK DIA MCM MANA...
NGALAHKAN ANAK DARA LA PLAK JANTAN NI..
DAN DAN RASA ANNOYED, BAIK GUA BLAH JA DARI SITU...
I WENT HOME. AND ASK MOMMY,
ADA ORANG CALL DAK?
SHE SAID, "YES!"
SAMBIL SENYUM TAWAR..
COZ SHE KNOW I HATE THIS KIND OF THING.
ME: MA, KAK RISAU LA, DEPA NAK MAI RUMAH!
MOM: HAH? MAMA TAK SURUH PUN DEPA MAI RUMAH...
MA CUMA BAGI NO KAKAK JA SUH LAKI TU MSG2 KENAI DULU.
MAMA TAK SUKA LA ORANG TERUIH NAK MAI RUMAH.
TAK PAYAH LA. HABAQ KAT DEPA...
THATS WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY MOM..
SAME REACTION, SAME FEELING, SAME THOUGHT!
HAHAHA
THE NEXT DAY,
HE TEXTED ME.
"SALAM, N"
LA SUSAH SGT KA NAK EJA "ASSALAMUALAIKUM"?
AFTER A FEW TEXT, I CAN SENSE YANG DIA
CAM MALAS2 NAK MESSAGE.
BALAS PENDEK2, TADAK TITIK
TADAK SOALAN. CUMA JWB MY QUESTION JA.
SO I THOUGHT, CM TAK BEMINAT JA MAMAT NI..
BGTAU DIA I BUSY JA LAH...
TRALALALALALA
AND NO MORE MESSAGE FROM HIM FOR A FEW DAYS..
ALHAMDULILLAHHHHHHH..
THE NEXT DAY,
MY AUNT...
"KAK DIA MSG KAK DAK? MCM MANA?"
I WAS LIKE, AIYAAAA...
"MSG, TAPI MASA TU KAK BUSY. XDAN NAK LAYAN."
"ABIH CAMNA? BILA X BUSY MSG LA BALIK,
HABAQ KATA KAK BUSY HARI TU.."
'INSYAALLAH"
2 DAYS AFTER THAT....
MY AUNT AGAIN..
" KAK, MCM MANA? DIA KONTEK KAK DAK?
KAK KONTEK DIA DAK?"
AND I WAS LIKE.... *HITTING MY HEAD ON THE WALL*
AKU TAK SEPENUH HATI NAK IKUT PLAN DEPA NI.
SKANG ORANG DOK TANYA-TANYA PLAK!
PRESSURE SGT RSA. DADA AKU DA SAKIT!
AND I TELL MY AUNT THE TRUTH
THE WAY HE TEXTED ME SEEMS LIKE HE IS NOT
INTERESTED AT ALL.
SHE TOLD ME, HE WAS TELLING THE SAME THING TO MY OTHER AUNT
(MY DADS COUSIN TU)
TIBA-TIBAAAAAA...
HE TEXT ME BACK.... THE SAME NIGHT,
AFTER I TALK TO MY AUNT..
CEH! NAK KENA PUSH DULU BARU NAK MSG...
ITS OK,ORG DA MSG KAN.
LAYAN KANNNNNN..
THE NEXT DAY
HE TEXTED ME AGAIN.
I WAS LIKE, OKKKKK..
MAMAT NI TADAK LA SOMBONG
OR MEMBOSANKAN.
BOLEH LA BUAT KAWAN...
TP NAK BUAT LAKI.....
OPS! TUNGGU DULU,
IM NOT JENIS YANG DUA TIGA KALI MSG
TERUS TERASA NAK KAWIN...
NA'AH..
HARI BERIKUTNYA...
HE TEXTED ME AGAIN IN A VERY CUTE AND CHILDISH WAY..
"CAMAT PAGI..!"
AKU MCM... WHATTTTT???
OK BARU 2,3 HARI MSG TERUS JADI KEKANAK NI NAPA..
I THOUGHT HE IS OLDER THAN ME...
HMMMMM... XPA. LAYANKAN JUGAK...
KATA NAK BUKAK HATI UNT TRY ALL THIS NEW THING KANNN??
TOWARDS THE END OF THE DAY TU,
AKU RASE RIMAS DGN CARA DIA CAKAP.
SUMA NAK CHILDISH JE BUNYI..
OH GOSH!
AKU NI JENIS YG AGAK KASAR.
DGN MEMBER LELAKI PN AKU CAKAP KASAR
"BELASAH KANG!"
"KEPALA HOTAK KAU!'
ITU PALING MANJA LA AKU PENAH CKP...
AKU LAYAN CM BIASA JA...
DALAM HATI MMG DAH GELI..
SO I ASKED FOR HIS PHOTO,
ORG KATA KALO ORG TU JODOH KITA, BILA TGK MUKA DIA
KITA AKAN RSA TENANG KAN...
TP.... BY THIS TIME DIA DAH START CAKAP MANJA2..
DOUBLE THE EWWWWW PLEASEEE!!!
CTH LA EK..
"ISH BUDAK NI, CUBIT DIA KANG"
"EE NAKAL DIA EH"
NAKAL??? WHAT THE HELL??
YOU GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING KA SEMALAM??
FOR SOMEONE YANG TAK PENAH EXPERIENCE ALL THIS
THIS IS GELINESS TAHAP DEWA TO ME..
ITS OK KALO DAH LAMA KAWAN.
TP NI BARU JA HARI KE 3 KE 4..
TOLONG LAAAA...
OK, MYBE SBB IM NOT USED TO ALL THIS,
SEBAB TU I GELI...
THEN HIS PICTURE PN SMPAI IN MY INBOX..
WELL, BOLEH LA.. NOT BAD..
ADA MANIS KAT MUKA TU..
BUT HE LOOK OLDER THAN HIS ACTUAL AGE IS..
TIBA2 I TERINGAT ALL THOSE WEIRD MESSAGES...
ALL THOSE MANJA2 WORDS..
TAK MASUK LANGSUNG..
SHOULDNT HE ACT MORE MATURE?
HMMMMM...
I DONT THINK I CAN GO ON WITH THIS PLAN.....
SHOULD I STOP TEXTING HIM?
OR SHOULD I SEE HIM FACE TO FACE DULU?
DALAM MSG PN NAK CUBIT2, KALO DEPAN2 DIA CUBIT2 JGK CMNA..?
GOSH! I DONT THINK I CAN CONTINUE THIS ANY FURTHER...
I SHOULD STOP. THATS WHAT I THINK.
BUT NOT DIRECTLY STOP.
AMBIL MASA SKIT... YOU KNOW... SLOW2..
WELL....
I DO WANT TO GET MARRIED.
BUT THERES A LOT OF OTHER THINGS THAT IM WORRIED ABOUT.
LIKE WILL HE LET ME WORK AFTER MARRIAGE?
DO I HAVE TO MOVE TO HIS HOUSE AKA PARENTS HOUSE?
AT HIS AGE, STILL LIVING WITH PARENTS..
DEFINATELY ANAK MAK...
ITS OK TO BE ANAK MAK, IT SHOWS
THAT YOU ARE A FAMILI PERSON.
JUST LIKE ME, IM TOTALLY A FAMILY PERSON.
BUT, I HAVE EXPERIENCED,
NOT ME LA, MY COUSIN.
LAKI ASIK IKUT CAKAP MAK,
SAMPAI BINI MAKAN HATI.
JATUH SAKIT SMP KENA OPERATION
LAST LAST BERCERAI...
I HEARD A LOT ABOUT FAILED MARRIAGE.
EVEN IN MY FAMILY
ITS SICKEN ME...
IT MAKES ME MORE BERHATI2 UNT MENCARI PASANGAN HIDUP
SOME PEOPLE SAY, TAK KAHWIN PUN XPA.
TAPI SEBAGAI ORG ISLAM, BERDOSA MEMIKIRKAN ITU.
SKANG NI, ALL I CAN DO IS
BERSERAH DAN BERTAWAKAL
PADA ALLAH SWT SAHAJA KERANA
ALLAH LEBIH MENGETAHUI...
I HOPE HE WILL FIND SOMEONE BETTER THAN ME.
COZ I DEFINATELY CANNOT FORCE MYSELF TO LIKE HIM.
OR EVEN THINK HIM AS A HUSBAND.
I HATE MYSELF FOR HAVING THIS FEELING
AND ITS KILLING ME...
BUT BEFORE ANYONE GET HURT
OR BEFORE HIS EXPECTATION GETTING HIGHER.
BAIK AKU TARIK DIRI.
I WAS WRONG!
I THINK I CAN OPEN MYSELF TO ALL THIS.
BUT I CANT! IM SORRY GOD!
IM SORRY EVERYONE.
ASSALAMUALAIKUM....
